I married a white man. When you ask Hubby what his cultural heritage is, he will answer "Protestant Mutt". He's a mix of English and Irish and Scottish with a German thrown in like an embarassing zit. I am a throrough-bred Korean, a "pureblood" as it were, a race that is more xenophobic than any other in the world. When you throw caucasian and asian genes together, you have the new race evolving...the Caisian!
Caisian children, for lack of a better word, are f-bombing GORGEOUS. Most of the time they have the best features of either race, blended harmoniously into a sum that is better than each of its parts! You want proof? Keanu Reeves - can't act his way out of a paper bag but he's some serious eye candy! Kristin Kreuk (Smallville) and Dean Cain (The Adventures of Lois and Clark) - SuperHotties! Russel Wong (Romeo Must Die) and Brandon Lee (Bruce Lee's son)- droooool. Tia Carrera and Kelly Hu (Hawaii Five-O) and Phoebe Cates...all absolutely beautiful women.
And then you have those guys who unfortunately drew the losing set in the bag of genes. Rob Schneider - yikes. Tommy Chong (Cheech and Chong) - I think most of his asian genes ran screaming in the night. And then you have Genghis Khan (half proto-Turk and half Mongol, all asshole) - obviously those genes should never have been within one light year of each other! But thankfully, the ugly...I mean the aesthetically-challanged Caisians are the minority.
My Korean parents, God bless their paranoid little hearts, raised me to believe that the White Man is the ruler of the whole world...and to some extent they're right. Most of the CEOs of the predominant Fortune 500 companies are white. Most of the billionaires in America are white. Lordy even our US Presidents (until just recently) have ALL been white (and how much more powerful can you be than the US Prez?). And why has the White Man historically been the ruling class you ask? NUMBERS I tell you. There's just more of them running around! Well no longer! The White Man seems to have a facination with asian women, associating them with the sultry/innocent Geisha girls of the past. The Caisians produced, being so damn beautiful, will have no difficulty mating like little good-lucking bunnies, producing MORE caisians! The numbers will logarithmically increase and soon they will take the world!
My kids, not to put too fine a point on it, are bloody gorgeous. Fine, I'm biased, but I've been mugged by Chinese tourists at The White House and at The Intrepid asking to take pictures with my kids. Everywhere we go, people stop me to marvel at their green eyes with the slight asian tilt. In the winter their skin is the creamy peaches and cream you hear about in songs. In the summer they tan a gorgeous brown, unlike Hubby who burn/peels/burns constantly. And they are not alone! My BFF Liz is a Filipino who married an Italian and her 3 girls are going to cause an entire generation of boys heart failure. My friends Phey from college and Glendy from optometry school with caisian kids are achingly lovely. Everywhere I go I see more and more caucasian-asian couples with just beautiful caisian kids! Its happening, people! The proof is out there!
Caisians are the rising power. Using their heart-stopping beauty and their brains forced to work by Tiger Moms, they will be the new CEOs, the new billionaires...and dare I say it? The new US President??? My heart a twitters...
Caisians UNITE!
Asians are great mixers, like vodka.
ReplyDelete